Letting Go

Always remember that although happiness comes from within, when you are exposed to people that make you unhappy for whatever reason, you will be unhappy at that moment.  It does not remove your core happiness but it certainly shakes it.

Relationships are probably the most difficult aspect of our human existence simply because it goes through the very core of our emotional being.  However, when you are with a person, who seems to drain you and exhausts you after you have been with them, this is an indication that there is something wrong.  When someone values you, they uplift you, they do not put you down.  When someone honors you, they respect you.  When you are with a lover, friend co-worker or any relationship that invalidates you as a person, it is time to let go.  Even if you are married to that person.  Sounds drastic but it is true.  If you are not cherished by a friend or lover then that person no longer serves your higher purpose.  This is of course after exhausting all measures to save the relationship. 

However, if after countless tries the relationship does not get better, you are better off alone in your own core happiness than being with someone who does not value you. This is one very hard lesson I have just recently learned.

No matter how whole you are as a person, if someone very close to you does not make room for you in his or her life then you are not valued by that person.  That creates unhappiness.  When someone does not see your worth and simply sees your faults, no matter how happy you are within, you will feel degraded.  If someone cherishes you, you will know and they will go out of their way to show you. There will be no need to demand for their time because it will be willingly given to you.  This is a hard lesson to learn and even more difficult to accept, because if you love someone and treasure someone and it is not reciprocated then it can be very emotionally damaging.  And the most difficult thing in the world to do is to let go of someone you care about.

But remember, self love is not self flagellation nor is it martydom. Self love is honoring yourself above all and if you are not honored in return you are definitely with the wrong person.  You end up demanding their time and attention and in the end feel bad about yourself for doing so because it is simply not who you are. 

So ask yourself, is being with this person making me a better person?  Am I growing and flourishing as a person by being with him or her?  Or am I losing who I am in the process of trying to keep the relationship intact?  Only you can honestly answer these questions.  And finally, ask yourself, Is being with the person leading me towards the person I ultimately want to become?  Then the answers will come clear as day.  The challenge is to actually see it through.

But remember, if you are keeping the wrong company you are simply not loving yourself and you are giving yourself to someone who does not deserve you.  The objective is to be whole and happy within yourself and not allow anyone, no matter, what to destroy that or diminish it.  It is definitely easier said than done and a long period of discernment is necessary.  But in the end, your self worth should come above all.

 And finally, know that those who truly love you and cherish you will never abandon you no matter what, they will always keep their word and will never be dishonest with you, and those are the people you should invest time and effort on.  Those are the very people who deserve your love.

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About Lia Bernardo

I am a Personal Development Coach and Workshop Facilitator. I am also a certified ThetaHealing Instructor and Healer as well as a Reiki Master/Teacher and Healer.
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5 Responses to Letting Go

  1. Mayo Rocha says:

    Beautiful piece and so true 🙂 I had to share it.

  2. Gwen J. Cariño says:

    This is beautiful, Lia. Please continue writing, inspiring and putting a smile in our faces. Cheers! =)

  3. Hrm, funny how you just summarized the ups and downs of my recent experiences with a certain someone (you know who), Lia. 🙂 In my case, however, it wasn’t so much letting go of the person entirely but letting go of attachments to that person and perspectives that do not help me. For me, I found it much more empowering to approach a relationship from the space of LIMITLESS love instead of need, wanting or fear.

  4. One of my teacher’s has an interesting term: Mushin. It’s basically a term for detaching oneself or one’s ego from what one is doing. Though he was speaking in the context of currency exchange, perhaps that works for relationships as well. 🙂

  5. Pingback: When Life Gets Froggy Just Let Go |

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