People as a rule try to be more positive in whatever way they can. Whether it is a new year or not, people do try to create a positive outlook in life. But why do we find ourselves reverting back to negativity? It is not for lack of trying. The intentions are there but it is the follow through that seems to be lacking. It is easy to revert back to negative thought patterns. However, when we use these tools I’m about to share with you, positivism becomes a natural response. All you need to do is be mindful of these 5 things in your life.
Here are 5 easy to do and sure ways to create a permanent positive outlook which you can implement into your life right here, right now.
The best way to shift your perspective from negative thinking to positive thinking is gratitude. The most popular study on gratitude is currently being conducted by Robert Emmons, Ph.D. at UCDavis. There now exists empirical evidence that gratitude can shift our health by shifting our moods and our emotions.
Start a gratitude journal. This is a great way to teach your kids gratitude too. Every night write down 3 things you are grateful for that happened during the day. This will turn your focus from negative to positive instantly. This exercise teaches your brain to focus on what you have rather than what you do not have. The result is, you will attract more positive things, incidences and thought patterns into your life.
Just a piece of advice though: When things start going well, please continue doing the practice of writing down 3 things you are grateful for every day. Most people stop when things go well and wonder why they are in a roller coaster ride. Continue this practice and create amazing shifts in your life now.
- Love yourself
There is only one secret to happiness and it is self-love. The only way you can achieve true happiness is by learning to love yourself and accept yourself purely and unconditionally. This means, no to self-judgment, no to self-sabotage, no to false humility. False humility is putting yourself down in order to lift others up.
With every action, every re-action and every thought, ask yourself: Am I honoring myself? Am I accepting myself? Am I judging myself?
You will find that half the time you are your worst judge. Remember that if you do no wrong, you are no longer a human being. Accept your humanity. You will make mistakes and those mistakes are an opportunity to learn and evolve. Making mistakes does not make you flawed, it makes you human. A person who practices self-love will ask himself or herself the following questions: What made me react that way and how can I react differently next time? What did I learn from this? What about the other person irritated me and how does this reflect on me being that way?
This way you focus on your own growth. Remember you have all the power in the world to create shifts within yourself, but zero power to change another person.
- Blame no more
If you catch yourself blaming another for anything that is not going well in your life, stop immediately. There is no one to blame. Everything that is going on in your life is a direct reflection of your relationship with yourself. There is nothing outside of you that is making you miserable or happy for that matter. You are creating all of this and you and you alone have the capacity to maintain your own happiness or to release yourself from misery. Please do not give anyone or anything the power to make you happy or miserable. First, it isn’t true happiness but on the upside it isn’t true misery either. Second, it is all drama. When you learn to live without drama, you learn accountability. Questions you ask yourself evolve from: Why me? to What did I do to create this? What do I need to learn from this? What is the lesson here?
When you truly forgive, you release the incident, people and circumstances from ever causing you pain again. Not that you forget the incident, you release the incident from your space because you have already learned your lesson. This is based on the knowing that life gives us people and incidences as experiences from which to evolve into the highest version of ourselves. We have a choice. We either choose to grow or we choose to remain bitter and wounded. Would you actually give someone that much power over you? If someone has hurt you so much that it paralyzed you into feeling, why would you give that person that much power? Whereas if you take that pain and transmute it into a learning, a lesson, and point of soul evolution and growth, then you transfer the power to yourself. You now use this very painful incident and grow from it, learn from it and evolve from it. That is the only time you can truly forgive. Forgiveness is about releasing the pain and taking the lesson so that you can implement it into your life and be a better person because of it.
- Receive Love
Learn how to receive. In my practice I come across this on a daily basis. People love to give of themselves, especially to those they love; but they do not allow themselves to receive. It is just as important to receive, as it is to give. Here is a very accurate muscle test for you to try:
Say yes. Your body will naturally lean forward. If you are not moving drink a glass of water and try it again.
Now say no. Your body will start moving backwards.
Say My name is (your name) your body will start moving forward for yes.
Say My name is (make up a name) your body will start moving backwards.
Now say: I know how to receive love
Then say: I know how to give love within healthy boundaries
If you move forward you are ok and you are balanced. If you test no, then just practice the tips I gave above and you will find that your beliefs will change as well.
Remember that making positive changes in your life is a decision, just like everything else. Take these tips and implement them in your life and you will see very obvious changes in a short amount of time. The key is to stick to it. Old patterns are not difficult to change, provided that you are committed and dedicated to the positive changes that are about to happen. We can all use more positivism in our lives.